I gained 15 lbs in 60 days. Went from 148 to 165, and still going to 180.

In that time, I've only added 1% body fat. Probably genetics.

Now, I'm not a fitness expert or anything, I have nothing to sell to you. This is about why I finally started caring about something I avoided my entire life: how I look. And why every man, especially young ones in a major city should do the same.

The Uncomfortable Truth

Looks matter. We'd be lying if we pretend society doesn't treat good looking people better. Want more income, more relationship prospects, respect? Improve your appearance and how you present yourself. What's one of the easiest ways to look better? Get in shape.

I used to think putting much thought into my appearance was beneath me. I would care, but not enough to spend time investing in outfits and a wardrobe. I'd be a functional aesthetics guy. Insecurity was at the heart of it all. Out of sight, out of mind kind of thing.

In the end, it was dumb. Turns out the world doesn't reward us for being above vanity.

I'm aware this piece might sound Machiavellian. But I couldn't give a shit. I'm writing to my younger self who could've been more confident and successful today.

Self-improvement isn't selfish. It's the opposite. When you're physically healthier, mentally sharper, and more confident, you show up better for everyone around you. The people who say 'looks don't matter' are either lying or losing. I'd know, I was one of them.

Why I Avoided This

It starts with the lack of disposable income in my household as a child. Getting a good education was more important than the aesthetics of life. Hilarious, since I'm a 2-time drop out. Alas, caring about looks was frowned upon.

I spent my youth maximizing variables I felt were more in my control like: sports, learning design etc. If life were a video game, my attributes matrix would have an underdeveloped charisma and looks tree.

I focused on skills thinking that's what mattered. Business, work ethic, abilities. But here's what I've learned: the world doesn't reward you for being above vanity. It rewards you for playing the game well.

Rejecting the game doesn't make you principled. It makes you invisible. You can have all the skills in the world, but if you look like you don't respect yourself, why would anyone else?

The NYC Reset

A New York City 7, is a 10 elsewhere.

Moving to a melting pot of the world's most attractive people hard resets how you see beauty. The not-so-hidden truth is looks and status are what wins in this market. Knowledge isn't in scarce supply, intelligence helps, but few win off that alone. This isn't San Francisco.

Cities are laboratories for human competition. Everyone's optimizing. Everyone's signaling. The people who pretend they're not playing are still playing—they're just losing while feeling superior about it.

I had a choice when I moved here: adapt or cope. Adaptation means acknowledging reality. Cope means pretending reality doesn't exist while wondering why nothing works.

So I decided to stop pretending this doesn't matter and actually do something about it.

What Changed

At 29, starting over in NY, working 50+ hours at a coffee shop. Everything felt uncertain. Career unclear. Next move unknown. But the gym? That I could control.

Made it non-negotiable. 4-5 times per week. Under an hour per session. No excuses.

Not because I suddenly loved working out. Because I needed something to win at while everything else felt chaotic. Control is underrated. When your career’s uncertain, your next move is unclear, and you’re doing 50+ hours at $23 an hour, the gym is the one place where effort equals results. You can't cheat yourself here (unless you take roids). No luck, it's just: did you show up and do the work?

The Simple System

I'm somewhere between an ecto and mesomorph, so treat this as personal experience if your body type differs.

Three key drivers. Diet, weight training and recovery.

Diet: Eat more than you burn

• Found my BMR, added 500 cals for activity, added another 500 for surplus
• Aim for 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight
• 3 meals (salad is not a meal) + 1 mass gainer shake = ~3,000 cals, 150g+ protein
• Don't track aggressively. Just show up consistently
• Weigh yourself nightly. Adjust based on trend

Training: Progressive overload is the only thing that matters

• Push, pull, legs split. 4-5 times per week
• Under 1 hour per session. 3-4 sets per exercise
• If you hit 10 reps, add weight. If you can't hit 8, drop weight
• Each week, try to push more weight than last week

Recovery: Sleep when you can, low-energy lifestyle when not training

• I under sleep most days (not ideal)
• But I live a low-energy life outside of work and gym
• Daily protein intake helps recovery
• Consistency over perfection

Do I have days where I miss meals and aren't consistent? Absolutely. I don't beat myself up. I continue the next day as normal and keep it moving. Consistency over a long time-horizon is more important than the few days here and there.

What Actually Matters

The 15 lbs aren't the point of this post, there's so much more to gain from just signing up to the gym and eating well consistently than a little weight.

What I gained:

Confidence shift: people respond differently. Not because I suddenly became someone else, but because I started carrying myself like someone who gives a shit.

Energy

Turns out when you're physically stronger, everything else requires less effort. Mental work. Emotional regulation. Handling setbacks.

Discipline compounds

The same mechanism that gets you to the gym at 5am starts applying to other areas. You stop negotiating with yourself about everything.

Control

When nothing else is certain, this is. You can't control the job market. You can't control who gives you a shot. But you can control whether you showed up today.

My reality is that people treat me differently now I look "bigger". They just do. First impressions change. Social dynamics shift. Professional interactions improve.

In a city where everyone's optimizing, showing up looking like you don't take yourself seriously is a tax you can't afford.

The Real Cost

I'm not telling you to become a bodybuilder.

I'm telling you not to handicap yourself while everyone else is playing the game.

I'm still figuring out my career. Still hunting for opportunities. Still uncertain about what's next.

But at least when I look in the mirror, I see someone who's taking themselves seriously.

The gym isn't the goal. It's the proof. Proof that when everything's uncertain, you can still show up for yourself. Proof that you're not waiting for permission to become who you need to be.

And in a city where everyone's competing, that's not vanity.

That's survival.